


Sharp Edges

by kisahawklin



Series: Unfinished and discontinued fic [32]
Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-25
Updated: 2004-08-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 08:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9428801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: another old snippet from LJ





	

Viggo climbed the stairs, carefully avoiding stepping on the footprints that had already unsettled the dust.

"Orlando? What are you doing up here?"

Orli whipped his head around guiltily and gave Viggo a shit-eating grin. "You always say 'it's in the attic somewhere' when I ask about that stuffed dolphin I gave you for your birthday.” Orli shrugged. “I thought I’d come looking for it. And you _would_ have something cool like this in your attic.” He tipped his chin to indicate the old chest he was rummaging through. “I mean, look at this!” He pulled out a knitted shawl, yellowed with age.

“That was my grandmother’s. I think my great-great-grandmother might have made it.” Viggo held his hand out from under the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders. “Come on, it’s way too dusty up here. Let’s go back downstairs.” He stood on the uppermost step, determined.

“No!” Orli whined. “I want to find that dolphin.” He pulled out a shot glass from Wall Drug. “Besides, this stuff is cool.” 

“It’s not there,” Viggo stated matter-of-factly. 

“Oh. Yeah, I suppose. It was silly of me…” the sentence stuttered into mumbling and eventually stopped.

“I mean, it’s not up here. Come on, I’ll show you the damn thing.” Viggo sighed in defeat and Orli jumped up with the grace that is reserved for long-limbed boys. If he had been paying attention, he would have noticed the breath catch in Viggo’s throat.

Orli moved over to the staircase and went down ahead of Viggo, not caring what footprints he stepped on. Viggo smiled at the back of his head and reached a hand out to touch the curls, stopping just shy of taking a tendril between his fingers.

*

They lay on Viggo’s bed, laughing about the dolphin which Viggo kept on his nightstand and looking over his collection of photographs from New Zealand. 

“Damn, I miss it. I miss the simplicity of life back then.” Orli’s smile faded.

Viggo nodded. “Our little bubble.”

Orli touched Viggo’s face in that old way, that New Zealand way, and Viggo froze. He gritted his teeth, squeezed his eyes shut, and took a deep breath.

"How's Kate?"

Orli lifted his head in understanding and looked away from Viggo. "She's good. We're good." He sat up and pulled his knees in, resting his cheek on his knees as he let his eyes slide closed. "I need her. She's soft."

"Am I hard?" Viggo whispered.

Orli laughed and poked him in the ribs. "Yeah."

Viggo wouldn't let it go. "That's not what I meant."

Orli curled up again, facing away from Viggo. "I know what you meant. And any way you ask that question, the answer's yes."

Orli was glad he couldn't see the hurt on Viggo's face. It was heartbreaking enough to hear it in his voice. "I'm simple. I thought simple was easy."

Orli laughed, even as he sniffled. "Truth is hard. You're all hard edges and sharp corners, Vig."

Viggo nodded and rolled over on his side, facing away from Orlando. “It’s hard, seeing you. I hate regrets, they taste so sour.”

Orli stroked Viggo’s hair and Viggo let himself relax just enough to roll onto his back and stare at Orlando. 

“It’s hard for me too,” Orli ventured. “You know, trying to still be me when they want someone else. That’s why I came here. You ground me, remind me who I am.”

Viggo snorted out an exhale of amusement. “I remind you of who you _were_. That’s somebody else entirely.”

“I’m still me.”

Viggo shook his head. “Yes, Orlando, but you’ll never be the Orli from our bubble. You can’t be; too much has changed you, too much is different now. You’re still you, that sparkle is still there, but there’s a lot more around it now. You’re polished. Smooth. No edges or corners on you.”

Orli shoved Viggo, wanting to stop the flow of hurtful words. “I don’t want to be smooth! I want edges! Why can’t you let me be like that?” He stopped shoving Viggo but left his hands fisted in the blanket.

Viggo smiled wistfully at Orli. “Only _you_ can let yourself be like that.”

Orli toppled, lying on his side, his eyes searching Viggo's. “I’m in here, Vig. Can’t you find me?”

Viggo gathered Orli’s hands in his own and kissed them. “That’s a road I missed out on a long time ago. You have something else now. Something better.”

Orli snarled in frustration. “All or nothing, then? No ‘better to have loved and lost’? Don’t you want to get rid of those regrets?”

Viggo held Orli’s hands almost paternally. “It’s not a one time thing for me, Orli. I think if I had you just once and never again, I’d be broken. Don’t you understand that?”

Orli shook his head, refusing to let it get to him but the tears came anyway. “A memory. Isn’t one memory worth it?”


End file.
